don’t want to imply that overweight people shouldn’t feel good about themselves. Personally, even at 5’8" and 150 lbs, I struggle with feeling like I can never lose enough weight and am never satisfied with my appearance. My mindset often resembles an eating disorder. I’ve dealt with BDD for a long time, and as I’ve grown older, it’s manifested in unhealthy eating habits and extreme diets. Currently, I’m unhappy with my body. I often binge drink while also restricting my food intake, though I don’t purge or binge excessively.
Does anyone else here (men or women) feel this way? No matter how much weight you lose, even if you reach a healthy BMI, it never feels like it’s enough?
Insecurities among men have always existed, but they often hide these feelings deep inside, which can lead to unhealthy ways of expressing them. It’s not a new phenomenon; it’s just more noticeable now. For instance, my own father struggled with intense insecurities about how others perceived him and his role as the head of the house. This led him to express his frustrations through verbal and physical abuse, a harmful way to cope with his feelings.
Many men, however, don’t resort to abuse but still struggle with processing their insecurities and anxiety in healthy ways. Instead of turning to violence, they might experience depression.
The key to overcoming this is to understand that our self-worth shouldn’t be based on others’ expectations. We need to define our own values and believe in our own worth. I might not have a lot of money, I might be shorter than average, I might stress-eat, and I might not meet all the cultural standards placed on me. But I’m still fantastic.
For example, when my 2-year-old daughter wanted to make a pizza with peas, even though it tasted awful, I loved being able to support her curiosity and spend that time with her. It’s moments like these that make me proud of who I am.
