I was the heaviest I had ever been in my life, and my mother called to tell me she “couldn’t hold it back any longer” and that I “needed to know that I’m [killing] myself by being [morbidly] obese.”
This is the same mother who idolized my weight when I was six years old because I had medically induced anorexia and told me my dangerously underweight physique was “perfect just the way it is”.
She then blamed my unhealthy obesity on my gastrointestinal ailment, pre-cancerous colon polyps, sleep apnoea, and depression, admitting she had searched through my garbage to track what I ate and gave me a smartwatch to “get me to lose the weight”. I have suffered stomach flare-ups and sleep difficulties.
I know losing weight would help with my sleep apnoea. My sleep specialist also wants to take me off the prescription (Seroquel) that caused me to gain so much weight because he believes that having a CPAP machine will help my sleep issue more than the drug has.
I began feeling chronic pain when I was 13, so exercising has always been difficult for me. I have chronic runner’s knee in both knees, which has not improved with therapy or increased weight.
Because of my gastrointestinal ailment, I’m really trying to eat well and stick to my tight diet, but it’s difficult. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
It would be beneficial for you to drop weight, but 120 pounds is too low for your height (as I believe you are aware). I’m your height and have always felt best around 150 pounds. I’d calculate your TDEE, deduct 500 calories, and aim to consume that much per day for roughly a month. Then you can determine whether to raise or decrease your consumption from there. Good luck, and please do not let your mother get you down. She certainly has problems, and it may be better for you to avoid contact with her.
At 5’10", losing a complete 100 would leave you in a poor spot. You might undoubtedly benefit from losing some weight (I’m the same height and weight as you, male), but body fat is the best sign, not the scale. Make the best of yourself, but you are not morbidly obese, my friend.
I am the same height and weight. I have a fairly active profession and some reasonable muscle in my legs and arms, but I don’t believe that at my height and weight I am “morbidly” obese. I can only speak for myself, but I don’t feel very comfortable at my current weight and know I need to shed some. But 100 pounds is ridiculous. That is simply too low for 5’10". Generally, 145-175 is considered “normal and healthy” for that height.
I’ve scheduled a counselling session for her and myself (together with her wife, who tolerates her behaviour). But she claims she doesn’t “trust” my counsellor because she’s in her 30s and “too young to know anything”.
It seems like she is attempting to live vicariously via you in the worst way. Sorry, no suggestion from me (but there are some nice ones in this topic). Just. Yikes. I am sorry you have to live with it. (I also have a not so great family, but for other reasons.)
Your mother is not a dietician or a doctor, so I would take her advice with a large grain of salt. If you want to be healthier, do it properly and safely. There’s useful information here.
For me, not eating after dinner, going for daily walks, and making sure my meals are properly portioned have been effective treatments. I also stopped consuming alcohol on workdays.
I jumped from 150 to 220 in 7 months on Seroquel. I’m 5’9". I got off it because the weight was affecting my self-esteem and made my depression more difficult to manage. I began losing weight right away and have now dropped to 170 pounds, where I have stayed for about a year. I’m going to go back to trazodone for sleep because it worked well for me and had no adverse effects, however I know some people who had negative reactions to it.