I’m a 23-year-old guy who’s gone from 285 pounds to 235 in the last few months. I work as a social media manager and video editor at a small real estate company.
Today, one of my bosses asked if I’d been losing weight. It’s actually the first time someone noticed (or at least mentioned it). I was glad, and said yes.
Then she asked what my goal weight was. I honestly answered that I’d like to reach 195. I’m 6’1" for reference. Her reaction surprised me; she looked shocked and said, “You’re not serious,” like I’d just told her I wanted to drop to 135 pounds. I explained that 195 is a healthy weight for someone my height, but she said, half-jokingly, “I don’t trust any man under 200 pounds. They’re not real men.”
Then my other boss walked in. He’s 5’9", in his 50s, and he said, “I haven’t been under 200 since I was in 6th grade. When I got down to 205 as an adult, I looked sickly.”
I didn’t know what to say. They know I’m studying exercise and nutrition, so I told them that at 195 pounds, with my muscle mass, I’d be at about 15% body fat; not underweight or sickly. My boss didn’t seem to believe me and joked that if I start looking too skinny, she’ll let me know. I didn’t respond, and the conversation just kind of ended.
This has been bothering me. It’s strange to think that losing weight to get healthy could make someone question my “manliness.” Has anyone here had to deal with comments like this? I don’t want to keep hearing these kinds of remarks as I get closer to my goal. How should I respond if it happens again? How do I keep this from getting to me?
Sterling said:
People just say things without thinking. Seriously, try not to let it get to you.
When I lost weight a few years ago, my aunt kept saying I was “wasting away” even though my BMI was normal. I just shrugged it off and focused on my progress. Don’t let their negativity slow you down.
@BillSmith
Sometimes people are so used to seeing you at a certain size, they don’t know how to react to the change. It can be more about their insecurities than anything.
Sterling said:
People just say things without thinking. Seriously, try not to let it get to you.
I’ve lost 205 lbs, going from 375 to 170. I’m 5’3" and 55 years old. My mom once hinted that I looked “too thin,” but I reminded her this is way better than 375. If I ever get skin removal surgery, I might lose a bit more, but I’m happy where I am now.
Amazing job on losing 50 lbs! It’s weird that people feel the need to comment on others’ weight goals. I think some people just can’t handle others making positive changes.
Shan said:
Some people project their own insecurities onto others. Why should they decide how you feel about your body? You’re doing great; keep it up.
Exactly. They probably don’t want you to change because it makes them question themselves.
When I was doing Weight Watchers, a coworker told me I’d probably never get skinny because of my body shape. I just ignored her. Do what’s best for you.
When I told my dad I lost 100 pounds, his first response was to grab my stomach and say I still had some to lose. It’s like people just can’t be positive. You’re doing great.