Why does my weight go up and down so much? Trying to lose 20 pounds but can't understand my body

Female, 5’6", 151 lbs, 32 years old.

I’m aiming to lose 20 lbs but just feel like I’m stuck. I hate my body right now and I feel like I’m always in this cycle where I start losing weight, then put it back on whenever things in life get tough. Recently, I went through some rough times (don’t even want to get into it), and all the progress I made just vanished. I lost about 8 lbs from working out and tracking calories before, but all of it came back.

Now, this week I ate like total junk, skipped exercise, didn’t drink enough water, and yet somehow, I’m 3 lbs lighter? I feel bloated, my clothes feel tighter, yet the scale shows I weigh less. Then, on days when I actually feel okay and think I look better, the scale says I’ve gained?

I don’t lift weights or go to the gym, just some walking here and there. I’m desperate to lose this weight, and it’s messing with my head. I feel like I’m spiraling every day. I just want to see the number go down and stay down.

Weight fluctuates for all kinds of reasons, so checking every day or even weekly won’t give you a clear idea of actual fat loss. A lot of what you’re seeing is just water weight going up and down, and women often have bigger swings in weight depending on the time of the month.

@Zephyr
That’s why it’s so confusing, though. I’m on my period, so I’d expect to weigh more, not less. But I still feel huge, and seeing the number jump around just messes with my head. I don’t know if a loss is real or just temporary water weight. One day I’m feeling good and thinking I’m making progress, the next day it’s all back up, and I have no clue what’s happening.

I’m starting to feel like I’m spiraling. I just want to get my weight down and feel comfortable again. This anxiety around my weight is really overwhelming, and I can’t stand the thought of people seeing me like this.

@Fay
Totally get how frustrating that can be. I went through the same struggle with seeing my weight fluctuate. It’s a tough thing to get used to.

To make things easier on yourself, try looking at a monthly average instead of checking every day. If you track your weight over a longer period, you’ll be able to see if there’s an actual downward trend, even if it feels slow. Also, instead of eating like crazy when you feel up or eating nothing when you feel down, try sticking to a consistent meal plan without letting the scale dictate how you feel.

It’ll take time, but remember, it’s a process. Even if you do have an occasional gain, don’t panic. It’s just one step in the journey.

@Zephyr
I’ve given myself until Christmas to lose this weight. I don’t want to go to any events feeling uncomfortable or avoiding photos because of how I look. I need to see results by then, or I’ll feel even worse.

If you’re gaining, it’s because of the calories you’re eating. You just need to calculate a proper calorie deficit and stick to it. Tracking is key.

Jin said:
If you’re gaining, it’s because of the calories you’re eating. You just need to calculate a proper calorie deficit and stick to it. Tracking is key.

I’ve been at this weight forever, and I can’t seem to budge it. It’s driving me crazy.

@Fay
Are you tracking everything you eat?

It sounds like it might help to talk to someone about this. Sometimes, the frustration with our body is really about something deeper.

Hal said:
It sounds like it might help to talk to someone about this. Sometimes, the frustration with our body is really about something deeper.

No, it’s definitely about my body. I just want to change it, but I keep failing.

Keep tracking your calories and focus on eating a balanced diet. Are you getting enough protein and water? Also, consider adding some weight training; it won’t make you bulk up but can help with fat loss. Cardio is also great, and HIIT (high-intensity interval training) can burn a lot in a short time.

When you say you “don’t see the point in exercising if it’s not making you skinny,” that mindset can hold you back. Transformation doesn’t happen overnight, but if you stick with it, you will see changes over time. I’ve been at it for about eight months and lost 50 lbs. Just remember, this is a long process. If you want it to happen, you have to keep going. Feel free to message me if you need tips.

@Misha
Thanks for the advice. I just feel defeated, like my body’s working against me.

Fay said:
@Misha
Thanks for the advice. I just feel defeated, like my body’s working against me.

I know it can feel that way. Just try some of the small changes I suggested, stick to your plan, and make sure you’re getting enough water and protein. I felt the same at first, but once you get into a rhythm, it gets easier. Remind yourself of your goals when things get tough. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it in the end.